Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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