You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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