You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
