You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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