the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
