Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
