one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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