I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
