I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
