brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
