I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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