i don't like sucking hair
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
