i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
