Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
