I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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