I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
