I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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