if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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