my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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