naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
