We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
