we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
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At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
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Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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