tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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