bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
did you just send me my own nude
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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