I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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