So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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