Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
