Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
