What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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