i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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