It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
