I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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