ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
