We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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