we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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