Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Do vagina's smell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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