they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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