I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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