I cut my penus on the lid.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
