i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
