oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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