So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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