I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
if i died would you start the facebook group?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
