yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
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Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We have started to decorate penises.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
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He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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