you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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