We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
