3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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