you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
third nipple confirmed
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
