I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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