I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
