I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
