On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
