that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize