You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We have so much sex to catch up on
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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