There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
