you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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