im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
