just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
