I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
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you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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