remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
