hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
it's like heaven, but drunker
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
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