We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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