i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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