his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
